Amelia Bryant's Top 10 Tips For Aspiring Erotica Writers - part 1

The self-styled Queen of London Erotica, Amelia Bryant, provides aspiring erotica writers with some sage advice. Her war wounds are still healing in this first of three parts.

1. Be realistic

Reckon you’re going to strike it rich with your first uploaded smut story? Good for you. Your optimism is oozing out of each pore. Unfortunately your naivety is equally plentiful. The chances of you making your fortune writing erotica are slim to say the least. Everyone and their Granny has had the thought “Ooh, I can write a few books and be like that EL James woman and make a mint.”

Before you type your first sentence of your debut smut story, this means you’ve got a shed load of competition. Then, consider that your main distribution platforms such as Amazon KDP or Smashwords have varying degrees of transparency concerning what you can and can’t write, and also the level of visibility afforded to erotica titles in their vast inventories.

You also need to be aware that many people who love smut don’t want to pay for it. Why should they bother? There’s a plethora of free erotica websites out there. Many authors offer a free story or two along with their priced titles. On an individual basis, you can’t fault the authors, who are trying to earn a crust. When you have a lot of smut writers doing this however, cheapskate readers are kept happy for a long time. At your expense.

Anyone can write a few words of dubious quality, chuck in some tits n’ ass (and other bodily particles), slap on a truly awful cover then hit ‘Publish’. Voila: another independent self-published smut author is born. And it’s getting tougher by the day for the good stuff to be found amongst the cack.

Making money from erotica is not easy. Making enough money from erotica to quit the day job and write full time is very hard indeed (I should probably say 'nearly impossible' but I live in hope that some folks will achieve this, so don't want to be completely dismissive). Becoming filthy rich from writing smut is the stuff of dreams. By all means keep your mind in the gutter, so you can conceive wonderfully sexy stories that melt Kindles. But keep your feet well and truly on the ground.

2. Don’t give up the day job.

The previous point will have now primed you for this one. I could spend a fair few hundred words lamenting on the fact that giving up the day job to be a smut writer is a REALLY STUPID THING TO DO. Giving up your day job to be merely a NON-SMUT writer is pretty thick as well given the current state of affairs. 

How the hell do you think your mind is going to be chock-full of images of torrid rumpy-pumpy and saucy plots, when you’re instead worrying about how you’re going to pay the gas bill, and your credit card balance. That’s not conducive to successful smut scribbling. Need further convincing? I’ll digress, and instead let you read this

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/jul/08/authors-incomes-collapse-alcs-survey

Feel free to cry into your peppermint tea, beer, red wine, or whatever your poison of choice is.

In short, you can quit the day job once you have made a shed load of cash and can see this being maintained for the foreseeable future. Don’t even consider this otherwise.

3. Don’t tweet: WRITE!

You’d think that with all that tweeting you’re doing, all the links you’re including, the hashtags you’re remembering to insert, and getting the ratio of chit-chat, promo, and engagement right, that you’d see a decent return for your investment.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but it doesn’t. Even when you’re doing all the right things, it still won’t make any real difference. Trust me on this – been there, done that, bought the damn chocolates to boot.

It sucks. Big time.

There was a time when I’d open up Tweetdeck and schedule my tweets for the following day. I’d have some excerpt tweets, some link tweets to Amazon, some to the blog, some to my followers, some general updates, some conversation starters. There’d be those tweets, and the ad-hoc ones through the day which were more conversational with followers and friends etc.

There was consistency, and the ratios were pretty good in terms of chit chat and fun versus blatant plugging. And the results? Not worth typing about. Really, I mean it.

Once upon a time there existed a sense of karma, equilibrium, call it what you want. A sense of mutual back-scratching. In Twitter this equates to plugging other worth people's offerings. or their latest blog post if it's something relevant that would benefit from other people contributing to it. For some people, who you have established a good and respectful connection with, you think nothing of it. You're keen to help them out. I know, I have a few of these and I wish them all the success they can get so I'm genuinely happy to retweet them. 

Then there are others you might retweet in the hope that one good turn deserves another. Experience to date however shows that this is rarely reciprocated. Many a Friday I'd spend half an hour tweeting #FF 's  ('Follow Friday', for the Twitter uninitiated) in the hope of the favour being returned somewhere down the line.

Save your time: the results are genuinely disappointing. 

Tweet every now and again. Tweet if you want to find yourself some sexy followers and engage in some flirty banter. Or if you want to find yourself some smutty photos that will give you ideas for your next scene or story you’re writing. Twitter is FAB for that if you know who to follow. I say knowingly… nudge nudge.

But for the love of God, do not fall into the trap of thinking that you have to incessantly be on Twitter in order to succeed as a smut writer. No! No! No! 

Blog regularly on your site to tell people what you’re up to. Wax lyrical on a multitude of things. At the very least it will help your SEO rankings provided you don’t be an idiot about it. Or hey, here’s a novel (groan…) idea: write more stories!

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Learn from mine so you can avoid the same mistake. Enjoy Twitter for what it is, but do not see it as the marketing wonderkid that will catapult you to smut writing stardom. 

To conclude, consider these rather thought-provoking points:-

1. Nearly three quarters (71%) of Tweets are IGNORED.
http://infographicjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/wix_socialstereotypes1.png

2. Twitter itself has been around since 2006 yet its own financial position is far from rosy  http://time.com/money/3054324/twitter-jumps-on-strong-earnings-trouble-is-its-still-not-profitable/

Thinking rather ruefully regarding the last point...If Twitter itself can't perform admirably with its marketing clout then what chance does a smut writer with next to no budget have? 

Write more. Don’t tweet more.




That's enough for now.  Keep checking for the next installment. 

Oh, nearly forgot. A few days ago I started on my next story. Yay!  
See, there's no way I could have finished the blog post on such a downer.  

Until next time, smut lovers! 

Yes I'm alive...

Miss me? It’s been a while. I don’t blame you for thinking (like a few of my Twitter buddies) that I’d disappeared from the face of the planet.

Not quite.

I'm still here. Weary and wounded perhaps, but still with a pulse and some brain cells left. How western civilization must be quaking, lol.

There's a few posts coming your way in the near future. 

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

AB

Blog Hop: Tag! You're It!

A few weeks ago I was asked by the delightful Angel Gone Bad (watch out, she’s a handful!) if I’d be one of her victi…er I mean recipients of the baton so to speak of the ‘Blog Hop’ that’s been doing its rounds through the smut writing fraternity.

 

What’s a ‘blog hop’? 

A writer answers a few questions about their work, and in turn passes on the baton to not one, but three other smut writers to do the same for the following week. Their names are announced at the bottom of the blog post, thus priming the reader for what’s going to follow, and also plugging the writer along the way. Additional tweets help spread the word.

So without further ado, here are those questions and my responses; I hope you find them interesting.

What are you working on right now? 
It’s all systems go right now, with several things going on. After a hiatus of a few months (writing had to be put to one side whilst real life interfered with my plans for world smut domination), I finally got back to writing in the last week or two, and have just finished a story I’d originally started back in March. It’s another one of my saucy London Lovers’ Ground series that focuses on a particular locale / station in the city. This time it’s the one and only “Kings Cross St Pancras” – make of that what you will! More details will be coming out in the next few days so keep your eyes open for more details here.

There’s also some cover redesigns for the first three LLG stories coming up as well – to make them sexier and more alluring – you can’t go wrong with black, haha!

Finally, as there’s already three ‘green’ LLG stories available, I’m going to release them together in a juicy threesome offer, which will be priced more competitively than if buying them all singly.

So that’s what immediately is on my plate – needless to say, with the smut writing mojo back, there are a whole bunch of forthcoming LLG titles already conceived and will be getting fired out over the next few months. There’s also a few more Crash! Bang! Wallop! stories I want written at some point. Some are in response to reader feedback, such as Parts II and III of ‘Stuck At A Desk’  (you know who you are, haha!) and there’s a REALLY hardcore BDSM / humiliation tale coming up which may finish off the CBW series….who knows.

How does it differ from other work in its genre? 

Being a marketer as well as an erotica writer, this is where I have to put my money where my mouth is! Firstly in terms of the cover design, I wanted a very distinct and recognisable identity for both the LLG and CBW series. With the LLG, there are different coloured lines each dedicated to a particular naughty theme, so there are coloured sub-identities going on there as well. 

The same goes for font choice. Like any good brand building, there has to be consistency and the right fonts have to be chosen: different fonts have different ‘personalities’ and the wrong ones will do more damage than good. Unfortunately, from an overall category perspective, the majority of erotica writers appear to pay lip service to such things. I’m not saying my covers are fantastic – but they’re distinct and aren’t cringeworthy like the ‘cheap clip art and dodgy font’ covers that are commonplace. If the story is good, why let it down with a crap cover?!

In terms of the writing itself, I make sure there are no corny character names or dialogue spoken between them. I want the scenarios and the characters to be believable and realistic. The types of people you see on the tube or pass by on the streets of London are the same types you find in my books. I’m not knocking fantasy erotica writers – different strokes for different folks – but just like in porn, there’s a huge appeal for the realistic ‘boy/girl next door’ type of characters, rather than those from another world.

Finally, to date my books have all been set in London. I’m not sure (but open to correction) there are other writers who have focused on London - or any other city for that matter – in their writing.

Whilst each of these factors may not in themselves be unique, they combine to form a unique proposition. 

Why do you write what you do? 
This can be answered in different ways. Firstly, I write erotica to earn a living. Some people write erotica for the sheer pleasure of it. That’s wonderful, but I’m focused on both.

Regarding the types of story or themes included, this is a case of writing what interests / excites me. If you’re passionate about something, it makes it so much easier to work with. But I also don’t forget this is a revenue stream – and what I write has also got to excite others too. Understanding what readers want to read and are happy paying for is a key reason for me designing and launching the Erotica Reader Survey – I want to know what smut readers want in their stories. And as I’ve said before, the key findings will be posted on the blog for all and sundry to digest. From the responses so far I can breathe a sigh of relief: a lot of things that do it for me personally and in my writing, are shared by many others! 

How does your writing process work? 
I tend to have everything thought out before I start typing the first words. Locations, plot, characters, the sex acts, are all thought about and a clear direction identified. With that foundation set, I’m free to sprinkle some extra bits and bobs where appropriate as I write. In this respect I treat my erotica writing like I do my marketing reports or university essays from decades past. I know how the story is going to pan out, I know the ins and outs (stop sniggering!), I’ve got the character personas established, etc. I even have a spreadsheet containing a whole bunch of questions to help with character building. What do they like and dislike? What’s their profession? What kind of clothes would I expect them to be wearing? What kind of personality do they have? How do I think this person will react in a given situation? What turns them on?

To some it might sound a bit anal, but ‘knowing’ this much about my characters helps me enormously, particularly when it comes to dialogue and behaviour in the story. It also allows me to keep things fresh; I don’t want the main character in one story be identical to another – particularly when there are so many variables one can play with when creating good, believable, naughty characters.

Having these things already clear in my mind before I start writing the story is critical. In fact I can’t imagine writing any other way. Once I’ve got all that framework in place, the actual writing is easier: that’s the theory anyway! 

So, there you have it; a bit more of me revealed! If you enjoyed this and want a bit more of an insight into how I roll, then comment on it, and let’s see what happens. 

Now: who’s next on the Blog Hop, I hear you ask? My three naughty minded writers keeping the hop going are:-

Danielle Austen, author of “The Prophecy Girl Trilogy” stories http://www.danielle-austen.com 

Anita Bush, author of “The Erotic Musings of an Ordinary Girl” http://anitabushauthor.wordpress.com

And yes, I realise that's just TWO! I'm waiting on a response from my third target....

 

And of course thanks to Angel Gone Bad in the first place: catch more of her naughty antics at: http://angelgonebad.blogspot.co.uk

 

Erotica Writing Dilemmas

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Ooops. My bad. Well what can I say. I look back on my last blog post, full of noble thoughts. Then I ruefully ponder the accuracy of the saying ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’. Hmm. Then I consider that AC/DC wrote that belter of a song, “Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be”, so I guess at least I’m in fine company if it really hits the fan.

Anyway. In my last post I reckoned that my mojo was back. It wasn’t. It’s hard to get in the mood for writing smut when you’ve got a neighbour from hell: one that requires one’s guard to never be lowered, whilst his passive aggressive bullshit and borderline OCD for opening and closing doors has me thinking – and enjoying - violent thoughts rather than erotic ones.

I read an article recently that writers have it easy in one respect, in that when they’re struggling to get the words out on the keyboard, they can always cite “writer’s block”. Writers are the only breed who seem to get away with skipping work because they don’t ‘feel’ they’re able to – and it’s largely accepted.

Yet no other profession allows such a gratuitous cop-out. When did you last hear of an airline pilot turning up at the airport, looking up at a dark, rainy sky, shrugging his shoulders and saying to his co-pilot and his boss, “Nah, I don’t feel like flying today. I’m heading home.” Exactly. I could never imagine going up to my former bosses one day, telling them “I don’t feel I can work today. I’m perfectly fine, I’m not ill, but I just don’t feel the vibe.” I wouldn’t last long in that gig, that’s for sure. Neither would 99% of people.

But on the flip side, if writing erotica is a job – and I want it to be one, and therefore need to treat it AS one - then “writer’s block” has to be kicked to the kerb, surely? The obvious danger to this though is that one’s writing becomes deadline-driven and formulaic. There’s nothing wrong with a deadline; in fact I could seriously benefit from this.

But the risk of becoming formulaic is more worrying. Erotica guru Susie Bright warns of this – and quite rightly so. Maybe writing eight stories back to back burned me out. If this is the case – perish the thought – then it doesn’t bode well, when I have so many ideas for new stories. But if I’m to make a living being a professional smut-slinger, I need to be more productive, publishing more stories, selling more copies, and doing so regularly, week in, week out. No, there’s nothing formulaic about that, at all, is there? Gulp.

This is an overly simplistic view of things – it’s not quite as black and white as this. I love insight and research etc, and I can look at data tables, populate and interpret PowerPoint decks and present findings day after day. But it’s not something I have to get into a particular ‘vibe’ for. Yet this IS the case for erotica. To me it’s almost like Avatar, where the natives ‘plug’ their tails into the flying beasts’ thinghy and they’ve got this synergistic bond thing going on. In my case it’s my mind or fingers bonding with the laptop keyboard!

So in short, yes there needs to be regular output but writing erotica IS different from other professions. Like everything in life, there needs to be balance.

And as for my living arrangements, being so close to that cantankerous old twat affected my drive, focus, and enthusiasm regardless of whether I was writing smut or designing research surveys. Luckily, as you’ll have no doubt seen on Twitter, I’ve moved on and into a lovely new place. So that’s a major stressor now banished – now it’s just the usual ones to deal with! But I can safely say that the mojo HAS returned. It's good to be back. So watch out: there’s smut coming!

What’s new in the world of London smut writer Amelia Bryant?

June is almost upon us, not that you’d notice outside with some truly ungodly weather. I swear – it could be November or March outside. The rain’s chuffing down, the wind is howling. Not like the Mays I remember from decades past. The evenings would be sunny and mild and Yours Truly would be tormented by having to stay inside, revising – ha, CRAMMING more like – for school and university exams.

Anyway, smut has taken a back seat over the past couple of months as other things conspired to pull my thoughts away from the joys of filthy fucking and instead towards things that to be frank were much less interesting and much more tiresome.

That’s not to say I’ve not felt guilty about the lack of filth being created on my laptop. Far from it: I’d have loved to have had another bundle of exciting London erotica for your reading – and masturbatory – pleasure.

Maybe it was a mixture of already having written eight stories and subconsciously needing a break. Perhaps it was also a heap of other external baloney impacting my ability to get all jiggy in my head as well as on the keyboard. Possibly it was the culmination of over-doing it on Twitter and needing a break from the smut writing and promoting. I digress…

That said, there’s an important lesson to be learned for any aspiring smut authors out there. Only write when you’re in the right mood. If there’s shit going on in your life, or external factors affecting your mojo then don’t write. Don’t even begin to try. If you’re not in the mood, you’re not in the mood. Enjoy life’s other joys without thinking of self-imposed masochistic deadlines. Accept it, and wait for your mind and nether regions to tingle again and re-connect. It is as simple as that.  

So guess what? Mine have (about bloody time too!). Here’s what’s on the immediate agenda:-  

1. Complete the fourth London Lovers’ Ground (LLG) story which I’d got about one third of the way through. I’m not going to reveal too much now, but let’s just say that if you’re the sort of person who think’s “two’s company but three’s so much better”, then you’ll like this. Keep your eyes peeled on when everything’s ready (hopefully in the next ten days or so) as there will be some special promotions lined up.  

2. New sexier cover designs for all LLG titles.  

3. More LLG story writing. I’ve got some cracking story ideas featuring the capital’s favourite central locales already waiting to be unleashed. Needless to say the naughtiness will be there in absolute abundance!  

4. Fancy some ‘Crash! Bang! Wallop!’ ? It’s high time another CBW story or two is unleashed on the general smut-lovin’ public as well as the marketing research community, who seem rather bemused by it all. Of course, I’m far from complaining with increased Twitter followers, column inches, and sales! There are a few stories vying for my attention. There’s the second and third parts of the ‘Stuck At A Desk’ saga. There’s also a humdinger of a tale which I’m burning to get onto paper / your Kindle screen. It’s called ‘The Ten Commandments’ and it’s possibly going to make some people in the industry feel a tad uneasy. Alternatively, they might not give a shit – that wouldn’t surprise me either!  

5. More blogging! There’s a long overdue post – probably two – considering the pros and cons of social media (particularly Twitter), primarily based on my own personal observations and interactions. So watch out for those. Blogging also shouldn’t be one-way traffic: engaging with contributors is important. Furthermore, despite all the pressures of writing one’s own smut, it’s a good thing to visit the blogsites of fellow smut writers and responding to the ideas and opinions they’ve put out there.  


So there you have it: the battleplan for the next wee while. Do keep me company on the smut journey!

Free Erotica? Amelia Bryant Ponders The Problem With Price

Help or hindrance? Dangled carrot or sustained revenue killer? Is free erotica a problem or worth its weight in gold to the independent smut writer?

Whether dipping one’s proverbial tootsies into the erotica writing business, or being a seasoned pro, free online erotica is one issue bound to provoke reaction. Anyone seeking online smut to read on their PC or download to a phone or Kindle or similar e-book reader can either go to well known websites such as Literotica to access a plethora of free stories. Or they can go to Amazon and Smashwords and pay for the stories accessed (these sites also offer free stories).

But surely it must frustrate authors trying to earn a crust (never mind a fortune) from their writing, when facing so much competition from others offering their wares for nowt? Why do this?

Let’s consider the pertinent points. Firstly, cost. Once the book has been written, the formatting done and the cover designed and everything is uploaded, the costs of production (time, paper, print toner, fizzy pop and Chocolate Hob Nobs consumed while writing/typing) are incurred once and once only. There’s no marginal cost attached to subsequent sales made.  

A free book should help generate some buzz, shouldn’t it? ‘Buy my FREE steamy erotica tale on Amazon’ etc etc. Announce this on all the relevant social media channels and the express hope is that there’s a flurry of downloads which will a) keep the book in the top half of the Amazon sales lists, thereby achieving some visibility b) convince those readers to fork out for subsequent priced books.

But does it really work like this?

The problem is that such a simplistic viewpoint fails to take into account that thousands of other smut authors have exactly the same idea. The result: thousands of free stories. But the unavoidable fact is that there’s now an abundance of free erotica. And that spells trouble for the erotica writer seeking financial recompense for their efforts.  

I liken it to someone walking to work in the morning or heading out of the office for lunch. You’ll see coffee shop baristas offering samples of their latest blends. Perhaps you’ll see a deli shop offering passers-by a tiny bite of a new sandwich combo. You’ll be offered a tasty mouthful (stop sniggering at the back!) in the hope that you pop in to buy a full-sized sandwich the following day, or perhaps even there and then.  

There’s an implicit understanding operating: here’s a free sample to see if you like it, and if you do, you can have more. Much more. As much as you want in fact.  

But you’re going to have to pay for it.
  
However, there’s a segment of the smut-reading fraternity who say ‘Why should I pay for anything? There’s so much available already for free. What incentive is there to pay for it?’

Using my street food analogy once more, It’s the equivalent of the hungry office worker being able to walk along a street full of delis and coffee shops and receive enough small samples of coffee to equal a full cup, and enough small sandwich bites to make up a proper-sized sarnie. His or her thirst has been totally quenched and their appetite sated. And without having to pay for a damn thing! But to add insult to injury, they can return day in, day out and do exactly the same, because there’s an endless supply to enjoy. Now it’s a stretch to imagine this could happen in real life. But it IS happening online when it comes to reading erotica.

So, you’ve got a whole gamut of smut writers doing what they think is a sensible attempt at gaining some awareness and hopefully driving subsequent sales. Individually, not a bad idea. Collectively however, the overall effect is arguably detrimental.  

Now it’s important to recognise there are many erotica authors who write for the simple pleasure of writing and striking a chord with readers, who wish no reward for their efforts. They perhaps want to dip their toes in the bath or wish nothing more than to see their words stimulate, inspire and/or amuse others. And bless them for it.  

There will also be a large number of smut readers around the world who have no intention of paying as so much is already available. They want something which will get their juices going enough for some naughtiness and then, hey-ho, that was nice. Next!  

What is the split between those who will pay and those who won’t? For erotica writers wanting to earn a living doing this, the non-payers are of no concern. Well, I say that glibly: they ARE a concern if they constitute the majority. But professional erotica writers will focus their efforts on what they know paying customers will shell out for. That’s one of the reasons for the Erotica Reader Survey that’s currently live.  

Personally speaking, I value my time spent thinking about the story, planning it, doing a bit of research perhaps, developing some characters, before even getting down to writing it. And don’t forget about editing, re-writing if necessary, and formatting for Amazon, Smashwords etc. That’s a fair few hours. Most businesses would charge for their time and effort in producing the final product or service – why should erotica writers differ?  

I’d love to receive your comments on any of the points raised here and encourage some discussion on the topic. And keep your eyes peeled for a follow-up post in which I’ll talk about pricing approaches, strategies and tactics.

EXTRA Sauce! Bayswater: London Sex Writer Amelia Bryant’s Quick Guide

So if you’ve read my hot erotic story ‘Baring All In Bayswater’ perhaps you’d like to get a flavour of the area, especially if you’re not from London or you’re located thousands of miles away.

Photo: (c) Amelia Bryant

Located to the north of Kensington Gardens and west of Paddington, Bayswater is a lively, cosmopolitan hub. Most of the activity centres around the street named Queensway, which is crammed full of restaurants, international food shops, fast food joints and all the usual major retailers. In the picture (left) of Queensway you can make out the entrance to the large Whiteley Centre shopping mall and cinema - it's at the far right of the photo, white peaked with the flagpole.

Locals requiring some extra bedroom (or wherever) spice have a well-stocked Ann Summers store on Queensway to stock up on assorted naughtiness. And shock author confession – this is the store where I bought my first Rampant Rabbit!


   

Photo: (c) Amelia Bryant

The tube station is located just a little under halfway along. And it’s one of the best examples of the London Underground map (designed by engineer Harry Beck) not being topographically accurate. If you take a look at the tube map, you’ll see Queensway and Bayswater stations separated by what seems to be a reasonable distance. In fact you could walk between the stations in probably the same time as it would take you to read this blog posting. We’re talking only a couple of hundred yards, tops. 

Bayswater has something of an edgy reputation – just like its Australian equivalent (what is it with Sydney, trying to copycat London’s vice spots: King’s Cross AND Bayswater?!) Yes, it’s a hustling busting ‘never quiet’ area – Queensway certainly – but it is also renowned for its sexual commerce. Some of the nearby W2 streets are well known on the internet for the ‘services’ offered in some of the apartments, and police have broken up vice rings and brothels operating in the area.

Photo: (c) Amelia Bryant

The street is dominated by a couple of very big apartment blocks – Princess and Queen’s Courts. Queens Court is the location of Mia’s fictitious flat, located just yards to the south of the tube station. But it makes me smile mischievously. Queens Court (pictured left) is listed on many bulletin boards and online forums as the ‘Ground Zero’ for London escorts! One minute on a search engine duly upholds these assertions! 

And I actually know Queens Court rather well! I won’t reveal all, but I did date someone for a while who flat-shared there. I must admit: I never bumped into any exotic ladies all the times I was up and down in the lifts. Let’s just say that with the preponderance of genuine hotties that could often be seen walking along Queensway, it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. 

Anyway, I’ve got happy memories of Bayswater as you can imagine, and it made returning there for some photos a pleasure. The sights and smells took me back a few years. And yes, speaking purely objectively of course, yes there are still a veritable amount of hot-to-trot ladies there – ‘working’ or otherwise!


Have you read a juicy excerpt from my smutty Bayswater story? Read it now!


Or if you have already and liked it, then buy 'Baring All In Bayswater' at Amazon, dammit! ;-)


Watch out for accompanying ones for each new London Lovers' Ground story!

EXTRA Sauce! Earl's Court: London Sex Writer Amelia Bryant’s Quick Guide

So if you’ve read my short smutty story ‘Earl’s Court: Making an Exhibition Of Oneself’ perhaps you’d like to get a flavour as to the locale, especially if you’re not from London or you’re located thousands of miles away.

Located in the south west of central London between Cromwell Road and Old Brompton Road, Earl’s Court is know for a variety of things. The first, and probably the largest, is the Earl’s Court Exhibition Centre - home to business expos (where my characters ‘Aussie’ Rob Sadler and Lorna Calderwood meet), home and leisure shows, and major rock concerts. In fact barely five days after moving to London all those years ago, I went to my first gig here – and what a night! I’m also no stranger to it for research/marketing expos etc. over the years.


The tube station is just across the road from the Centre – in fact this picture is taken from the station entrance. The other main entrance is on Earl’s Court Road – here.

Needless to say, the tube station can get pretty crowded when there’s a gig or expo on. Which in itself presents a fantastic opportunity to letch at some pretty hot talent! [Public transport confession time: I had a major snogging session on the westbound District line platform one cold February evening many moons ago. Ah, halcyon days!] 

Earl’s Court is also traditionally known to be a hang out for Australians living in the city. And escorts too, apparently! There are a lot of hostels and hotels in the area – of varying quality and price ranges.

Just a few yards along from the station is The Blackbird, the pub where my characters Rob and Lorna meet after the expo.

Earl’s Court has a number of gardens with bushes and trees lining the perimeter railings. The vast majority – if not all of them – are private, and only accessible under lock and key. So not every Tom, Dick and Harry can get it. But hey, perhaps from time to time people are careless, and in the case of Rob and Lorna…jackpot!

So where might the lust-filled pair have headed for their dusk debauchery: perhaps here?!


Have you read a juicy excerpt from my smutty Earl’s Court story? Read it now!

Or if you have already and liked it, then buy 'Earl's Court: Making An Exhibition Of Oneself' it at Amazon, dammit! ;-)

I hope you've enjoyed this little pictorial expedition into my setting for the book - watch out for accompanying ones for each new London Lovers' Ground story!