1. Be
realistic
Reckon you’re going to strike it rich with
your first uploaded smut story? Good for you. Your optimism is oozing out of
each pore. Unfortunately your naivety is equally plentiful. The chances of you
making your fortune writing erotica are slim to say the least. Everyone and
their Granny has had the thought “Ooh, I can write a few books and be like that
EL James woman and make a mint.”
Before you type your first sentence of
your debut smut story, this means you’ve got a shed load of competition. Then, consider
that your main distribution platforms such as Amazon KDP or Smashwords have
varying degrees of transparency concerning what you can and can’t write, and
also the level of visibility afforded to erotica titles in their vast inventories.
You also need to be aware that many people
who love smut don’t want to pay for it. Why should they bother? There’s a plethora
of free erotica websites out there. Many authors offer a free story or two
along with their priced titles. On an individual basis, you can’t fault the
authors, who are trying to earn a crust. When you have a lot of smut writers doing
this however, cheapskate readers are kept happy for a long time. At your
expense.
Anyone can write a few words of dubious
quality, chuck in some tits n’ ass (and other bodily particles), slap on a
truly awful cover then hit ‘Publish’. Voila: another independent self-published
smut author is born. And it’s getting tougher by the day for the good stuff to
be found amongst the cack.
Making money from erotica is not easy.
Making enough money from erotica to quit the day job and write full time is very
hard indeed (I should probably say 'nearly impossible' but I live in hope that some folks will achieve this, so don't want to be completely dismissive). Becoming filthy rich from writing smut is the stuff of dreams. By
all means keep your mind in the gutter, so you can conceive wonderfully sexy
stories that melt Kindles. But keep your feet well and truly on the ground.
2. Don’t
give up the day job.
The previous point will have now primed
you for this one. I could spend a fair few hundred words lamenting on the fact
that giving up the day job to be a smut writer is a REALLY STUPID THING TO DO.
Giving up your day job to be merely a NON-SMUT writer is pretty thick as well
given the current state of affairs.
How the hell do you think your mind is
going to be chock-full of images of torrid rumpy-pumpy and saucy plots, when
you’re instead worrying about how you’re going to pay the gas bill, and your
credit card balance. That’s not conducive to successful smut scribbling. Need
further convincing? I’ll digress, and instead let you read this
Feel free to cry into your peppermint tea,
beer, red wine, or whatever your poison of choice is.
In short, you can quit the day job once
you have made a shed load of cash and can see this being maintained for the foreseeable
future. Don’t even consider this otherwise.
3. Don’t tweet: WRITE!
You’d think that with all that tweeting
you’re doing, all the links you’re including, the hashtags you’re remembering
to insert, and getting the ratio of chit-chat, promo, and engagement right,
that you’d see a decent return for your investment.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but
it doesn’t. Even when you’re doing all the right things, it still won’t make
any real difference. Trust me on this – been there, done that, bought the damn
chocolates to boot.
It sucks. Big time.
There was a time when I’d open up
Tweetdeck and schedule my tweets for the following day. I’d have some excerpt
tweets, some link tweets to Amazon, some to the blog, some to my followers,
some general updates, some conversation starters. There’d be those tweets, and
the ad-hoc ones through the day which were more conversational with followers
and friends etc.
There was consistency, and the ratios were
pretty good in terms of chit chat and fun versus blatant plugging. And the
results? Not worth typing about. Really, I mean it.
Once upon a time there existed a sense of karma, equilibrium, call it what you want. A sense of mutual back-scratching. In Twitter this equates to plugging other worth people's offerings. or their latest blog post if it's something relevant that would benefit from other people contributing to it. For some people, who you have established a good and respectful connection with, you think nothing of it. You're keen to help them out. I know, I have a few of these and I wish them all the success they can get so I'm genuinely happy to retweet them.
Then there are others you might retweet in the hope that one good turn deserves another. Experience to date however shows that this is rarely reciprocated. Many a Friday I'd spend half an hour tweeting #FF 's ('Follow Friday', for the Twitter uninitiated) in the hope of the favour being returned somewhere down the line.
Save your time: the results are genuinely disappointing.
Then there are others you might retweet in the hope that one good turn deserves another. Experience to date however shows that this is rarely reciprocated. Many a Friday I'd spend half an hour tweeting #FF 's ('Follow Friday', for the Twitter uninitiated) in the hope of the favour being returned somewhere down the line.
Save your time: the results are genuinely disappointing.
Tweet every now and again. Tweet if you
want to find yourself some sexy followers and engage in some flirty banter. Or
if you want to find yourself some smutty photos that will give you ideas for
your next scene or story you’re writing. Twitter is FAB for that if you know
who to follow. I say knowingly… nudge nudge.
But for the love of God, do not fall into
the trap of thinking that you have to incessantly be on Twitter in order to
succeed as a smut writer. No! No! No!
Blog regularly on your site to tell people
what you’re up to. Wax lyrical on a multitude of things. At the very least it
will help your SEO rankings provided you don’t be an idiot about it. Or hey,
here’s a novel (groan…) idea: write more stories!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Learn from
mine so you can avoid the same mistake. Enjoy Twitter for what it is, but do
not see it as the marketing wonderkid that will catapult you to smut writing
stardom.
To conclude, consider these rather thought-provoking points:-
1. Nearly three quarters (71%) of Tweets are IGNORED.
http://infographicjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/wix_socialstereotypes1.png
2. Twitter itself has been around since 2006 yet its own financial position is far from rosy http://time.com/money/3054324/twitter-jumps-on-strong-earnings-trouble-is-its-still-not-profitable/
Thinking rather ruefully regarding the last point...If Twitter itself can't perform admirably with its marketing clout then what chance does a smut writer with next to no budget have?
Write more. Don’t tweet more.
That's enough for now. Keep checking for the next installment.
Oh, nearly forgot. A few days ago I started on my next story. Yay!
See, there's no way I could have finished the blog post on such a downer.
Until next time, smut lovers!
To conclude, consider these rather thought-provoking points:-
1. Nearly three quarters (71%) of Tweets are IGNORED.
http://infographicjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/wix_socialstereotypes1.png
2. Twitter itself has been around since 2006 yet its own financial position is far from rosy http://time.com/money/3054324/twitter-jumps-on-strong-earnings-trouble-is-its-still-not-profitable/
Thinking rather ruefully regarding the last point...If Twitter itself can't perform admirably with its marketing clout then what chance does a smut writer with next to no budget have?
Write more. Don’t tweet more.
That's enough for now. Keep checking for the next installment.
Oh, nearly forgot. A few days ago I started on my next story. Yay!
See, there's no way I could have finished the blog post on such a downer.
Until next time, smut lovers!
I love this article!! I'd love to say the situation is better in the professionally published market but alas it's exactly the same; and all of the above advice rings just as true to me (with three professionally published full-lengths) as it does someone about to crank out their first 2,000 word story.
ReplyDeleteIt's a grim situation - if you're in it for the money or fame, at least.
Sadly, I too concur with every word of this. I've learnt to my cost that time and effort spent on the likes of Twitter yield very little in return. However, this touches on the point I made more recently in reply to Danielle's "The Fifty Shades effect lie". As an indie author who self-publishes, striking the balance between creating my art and marketing it, is not easy. I'm forever torn each morning when I wake up; Do I write the next chapter of my self-professed gem, more likely for my eyes only, or do I spend the day firing off some soul-searching tweets in the hope someone out there is listening and, more importantly, wanting to take my writing seriously?
ReplyDeleteA grim situation indeed, but I guess that is, by definition, the indie author's lot; we have to do these things alone, until recognised. And for me, that's all I'm striving to achieve at the moment, recognition. It's an over-saturated world out there, fame and fortune, very much like the music industry, require a healthy slice of luck; right place, right time syndrome.
However, surely a little recognition shouldn't be too hard to come by if one writes well, puts it out there and spends a little time shouting about it on social media. Maybe I need to take a course in marketing!